What to tell...

Finished my school today after being bombarded with assignment and now I'm bored.

Surfing is VERY hard.

Kayaked with dolphins the other day.

Now that school has finished weather has turned to shit.

U2 concert tomoorw...

and yeah

Howdy

Finally.. I have been trying to write up a blog for the last few days and the website has been down. How is everyone doing? Things here are good. School has been keeping me busy, my Sweedish neighbours who live above us are going to get a Sweedish meatball in the mouth if they keep playing there god awful music, friend of mine from England moved home and other than that everything is status quo.

This morning I woke up at 6AM and went for a run... man i know why people in AUstralia go to bed so early (11pm all the lghts are out around us)... its because they are up at walking at 6AM. The path by the ocean was filled with people this morning. Despite the fact I hate running in the morning I am going to have to do more of it because it is getting too warm in the afternoons to run. It also allows me to go to the beach after school. Today I got to swim with the dolphins... well sort of... I jumped into the Ocean and maybe 50 meters away was a dolphin bobbing up and down in the water... kinda neat, but where there are dolphins there are sharks.

Speaking of beach... I'd really like to purchase a kayak... we have such a nice beach that it would be perfect for it. This weekend Erin and I are going Kayaking to see some shipwreck, so it will be our test run to see if we should buy one.

I feel like I bring my speedo from here seein as though evetyone else has one.

The last time I went swimming in the ocean was Jan 1/01 and I was still drunk. Jack, brad Keith and I had signed up for snorkling while we were in Jamaica and when I got there I wasn't really thinking straight, so I jumped in mouth wide open and swallowed a couple gallons of salt water. Well the water here is just as salty as the water was there. So people just never learn!!

THINGS I LIKE THIS WEEK

• Kayaking... going to be super cool.
• Brad playing is first game of the season even though they lost.

THINGS I DON'T LIKE THIS WEEK

• University of Miami football team is pathetic and the women who gave out the suspensions didn't even watch the video

Q-tip

The people who work at customs in Australia deserve a rasie! The averted a major disaster by having my two Sports Illustrated magazines held a customs for inspection... I can only assume they were kept on the top of the toilet in the employees mens room for reading material. I mean I know I was excited to read the NFL preview magazine and I guess they were too.

Speaking of averting disasters... we had our own little crisis about a week ago. Being the poor students that Erin and I are we are always looking for the best deal. However, I strongly feel that no expense should be spared when it comes to the selection of q-tips. One day Erin decided to break this rule and bought q-tips from the dollar store. They were in essence a lolly-pop stick with a bite of cotton taken out ofthe top of a Tylenol bottle. I bitched and moaned about how saving fifty cents off of q-tips is not worth at and that my ears only deserve the best. Well time went on and I dealt with this until about a week ago when I cleaning out my ears and realized that the soothing sensation of my ears being opened to the world was no longer there and it was replaced by every sound sounding a little duller. The Tylenol cotton had slid right off the end of the lolly-pop stick and was logged in my ear. Let me tell you just how uncomfortable it is having a piece of cotton rub against the side of your brain. I tried to use tweezers to get out the cotton, but couldn't so I waited for Erin to get home. Erin being the chicken that she was co mplained that the tweezers weren't long enough and that she wouldn't be able to get the cotton block out. Out of she desperation I stuffed the tweezer next to my frontal lobe and got the cotton out, but lets this be a lesson to you at home... Do not buy cheap q-tips.

THINGS I LIKE THIS WEEK

• Although I won't be able to watch any games I'm excited to have the hockey season upon us
• We recently won the Adelaide Ice Hockey Championships

THINGS I DO NOT LIKE THIS WEEK

• My campus is situated on the outskirts of a desert... plus 30 and blowing sand is not my idea of a good time.

Here in Australia they talk about American Politics almost as much as they do Australian politics. They discuss how inept the Americans are and how much they dislike there policy, although Australian policy is as conservative and right in line with American politics if you ask me. Anyways, there was an article about Guantanomo Bay which is not a rare occurance. They think that it should be shut down, expecially because there is an AUstralian prisoner whom the public feels has been ostricized. Regardless, in todays article they discussed how the most sought after book in the library at Guantanomo Bay is Harry Potter, there were 91 dental fillings last year and they enjoyed watching the World Cup. Can someone please explain to me why in a newspaper which is oh I don't know 10000 miles away would they right about such inconsequential information. The only thing that the article in question says is that the prisonners read at a low grade level, they have bad teeth and they enjoy watching soccer. If you ask me none of this information comes as surprising, nor hould it be written about in a newspaper in a different continent.

THINGS I LIKE THIS WEEK

• Weather is getting nicer here
• Ran a 12km race with 26,000 of my closest Australian friends

THINGS I DO NOT LIKE THS WEEK

• I wrote a blog entry last week and it did not post properly, which is very annoying.
• Things happen in 3's, sp Holly getting sick, Dorothy falling and Cam getting hit by a car should be the end of the Lauder unluck.

Donuts

I just got back from the grocery store... the same grocery store, which sold the tastiest donuts for only $1.25. Well the damn sheep farmers who own the grocery store (I've come to the conclusion that every Australian is a sheep farmer in form or another) raised the price of said donuts to $1.89!! I bloody 35% mark up. I will not be buying donuts at the sheep farmers grocery store any longer.

DAMN SNAKES!!

Howdy

I'm going to miss Ander Agassi! There are very few athletes that have captivated me enough, that if I see them on t.v. I got make a pot of coffee because I'm going to be there for the long haul. I didn't get the chance to watch his last few mathces unfortunately because they weren't on t.v. here in Adelaide (or not on farmer vision). I had to live vicariously through articles posted on the web about how he matured as an athlete blah blah blah...

I liked Andre Agassi when he was that punk kid with jean shorts, long hair and god awful multi-coloured shirts that can only be seen in the 80's and I liked him even more when he went from being the best-to one of the worst and than back to being the best. My last memory of watching Andre Agassi is going to be sitting in a communal t.v. room in a crappy melbourne hotel with a hand full of sketchy characters. It was 1 or 2 in the morning and Erin and I had decided to stay up to watch the match. The Australian announcers kept reminding us over and over that as soon as the Lewitt Hewton match began they would switch over (had to watch their Australian boy even though hes an ass). We watched Agassi battle Nadal in the first set which went to a tie breaker and was eventually won by Nadal, but I like having that as the last memory I will have of Agassi because it showed how he battles and became the champion he is, but also how he aged and was vulnurable to the younger generation.

I had the misfortune of witnissingthe most menacing spider I have even seen in my life the other day. I went to lay down in bed and saw something in the corner of the room. Upon further inspection I saw the Barry Bonds of spiders. He was about the size of a quarter, but it was the thinkness of the spider that was eye catching. His body and legs were not your typical Winnipeg spider, but despite the physical attributes of the sider it was no match for my Educational Psychology textbook, which smoothered it across the wall. The nexttime I encounter a spider like this I have to figure out a different killing technique because the thickness of the spider also brought more guts to be smoothered, so after seeing the casualties I realized that I made a mess all over the wall. If I were living at home MArilyn would not approve.

I normally enjoy taking the train, but not so much lately. Currently the equivalent of the Red River Ex. is going on and the first train I take to school stops at the fair. The people going to the fair are the same group of people who would go to the Ex back home... people who can't control their kids, so every morning and afternoon I'm sitting in a box full of a 100 or so people with 20-30 of them scream and crying. By the end of the week my nerves were fried and I have decided that maybe I shouldn't be a teacher if thats what I have to look forward to.

THINGS I LIKE THIS WEEK

• Only one more week till spring break.
• Start of the NFL season

THINGS I DON'T LIKE THIS WEEK

• Guy sitting across from me on the train doesn't wear his sun glasses the whole trip, but when we pull into the train station he pulls his glasses on. Dude there is NO sun inthe train station.

Long time no talk

Hello Kids,
Dawned on me the other day that I haven't written in some time, so I thought I'd check in. First off school and the two hours I spend on the train everyday have been taking up a great deal of my time. School is good! The classes are smaller and they try and encourage class participation, actually it is all class participation, but for the most part it has been good. I had my first presentation in front of the class and it went quite smoothly. The biggest hassle was actually having partners. I was with a guy from Sri Lanka... Super nice guy, but he doesn't know how to use a computer and it takes him awhile to understand things because his English is very choppy, but we managed. On a side note he is on his seventh wife, is in his 40's and had never cooked for himself... I'd say there are some cultural differences there.

The train ride is long, but now a part of life. Thankfully I've discovered that podcasts are free to download, so I download a bunch of radio broadcasts from back home and listen to them to pass the time.

Hockey is coming to an end and our team is making a run to the Grand Final, but I must admit I'm looking forward to it being over and done with. There is no particular reason why just had enough hockey and looking forward to the summer. Speaking of summer the temp. is getting nicer and nicer finally... it won't be long till I'll be e-mailing how great the weather is here while you guys are bundling up.

Its nice to see the Bombers doing well, but I can't believe I got up early to listen to the Hamilton game when they got smoked.. it was Sat. Morning here and I should have stayed in bed.

Now to the important stuff... Erin and I have discovered a few gems... the have this chicken gyro stuff that is grade A and cheap. Still missing the K.D. from back home because the stuff here almost made me throw up. I eat peanut butter and jam sandwiches for breakie everyday and cereal before bed.

I'd like to give "props" to Maples Juventus who are in the MSA Cup semi-finals... if they make it to the final it will be this Saturday and Red River Community College and you should go and support them.

Well hope everyone is well and I'll write in the near future to tell you how the Adelaide Marathon went, which is this weekend.

THINGS I LIKE THIS WEEK

• can't say enough about podcasts
• Boy in the Striped pajamas by John Boyne... moves slow but well worth the read... second last chapter took my breath away

THINGS I DON'T LIKE THIS WEEK

• Blue Jays players and managers fighting amongst themselves.
• Yankees winning 5 straight. I don't sleep well into I know the Yankees are out of the play-offs but they look good
• My swollen peck... going on two weeks and not getting better. Think I may have to go to a doctor.

Zidane

Enough with the Zidane business... I have to make a few confessions to make first!

1. There are two teams in the World Cup I didn't want to win and they were Italy and Portugal.
2. If you wondering if there are underlying racial reaons for this sentiment, well there are. I have many Portuguese and Italian friends, so I have come know just how much they love, well... being Portuguese and Italian.. They don't need any more help.
3. I love just how good a soccer players Zidane is and I wish I could have watched more of him.

Anyways, Zidane decided to lose his cool on possibly the biggest stage possible. I can't think of any other sporting event that is put on such a pedestal as the World Cup. That being said... it should be expected that every media outlet in the world is going to gab on and on and on about it, it is the nature of the beast. There are two arguments that I just plain don't agree with and don't feel that they should weigh into the debate at all.

1. France did not lose because Zidane got red carded... PERIOD! Zidane was able to participate in 1h50m of a soccer game that could have been finished in 1h30m. Yes he also missed the penalty shots, but the last time I checked Zidane was NOT about to play goal and I have never seen a team in any sport lose a penalty shootout without missing a shot. Zidanes impact on the game was tremendous, however, on that day his impact was not good enough.
2. Oh what about the kids who were watching.. what will they do? The are clearly tarnished for life. No there are not tarnished for life! Kids see lots of stuff, both good and bad. Sure over the long haul the things these kids see will have an affect on who they become because each person will sort out their experiences and mold them into the person they are. However, on head butting is not going to change a person for life and if it did there are far bigger consequences that should be weighed here. Those consequences being that the person in question is so easily influenced that they will inevitably be smoking crack in the next few years.

The guy made a mistake... leave him and his legacy be. Besides there are much bigger sports celebrities who have done far worse, such as Brad Mitchell.

Have you ever sneezed while bending over trying to pick something up? I am not talking the proper knees bent work, health and safety type of bend, but rather the type of bend where your back is torqued at 90 degrees. I'm going to guess you haven't because you are still alive to read this blog. I did such s sneeze this afternoon (or avro as they say here is Aussie Land) and let me tell you... no, no, no.. LET ME TELL YOU!!! My eye balls just about popped right out of the sockets and I am going to blame this on Einstein and gravity because only he could explain the feeling of a slimy ball trying to slither through a hole much too small... yes thats right it wasn't a good one.

My orientation at Uni SA came and went last week. Quite boring as most of the stuff was catered more towards the Asian student with little or no english skills. Did surprise myself and went to a wine and Cheese that they put on for us International Students (apparently 20 grand will buy you two hours of free wine and a pen). I met a few people who seemed nice enough that I went to a pub with them after and had a pretty good time, but unfortunately for me I was also reintroduced to an old friend named Hang Over, whom I hadn't seen for some time and certainly did NOT miss.

Other than that everything seems status quo... I ran a 30KM race the other day, which went wel, but I have been a little tired and sore since. I was not overly pleased having to run 3 km to the start of the race, so that I could start on time, however, that is the life of the Public Transit taking man!

THINGS I LIKE THIS WEEK

• School starting soon.
• Going golfing tomorrow.
• Only a month of cool weather for me and only a month of hot weather for you!

THINGS I DO NOT LIKE THIS WEEK

• Raptors 1st round draft pick... that is one team thats destiny is intertwined with sucks.

End of an Era

I have a list of "things to do before I die" and I am saddened to know that one of the ones near the top of the list is going to go unaccomplished. I have for a number of years wanted to see Andre Aggasi play tennis and unless I stumble upon a small fortune nd get my hands on a ticket to see him play in the US Open it looks like I'm not going to get to see him play. The same sort of thing happened to me and getting to watch Wayne Gretzky play live. Once the Jets left Winnipeg I thought there was no chance, but good fortune and destiny brought me to Montreal for soccer nationals and I was able to watch him play the season opened in Montreal... MAGICAL.

Just got back from a very fun trip to Melbourne where we did such things as shop (lots of it), Footy game, Aquarium, Coldplay convert to name a few things. It was nice to get out of Adelaide and relax. For as much fun as I had I must admit that Melbourne itself was a little disappointing. In terms of rating it against other cities I don't think I would put it in my top 10. yes it was nice and all, but there was no "wow" factor. It was just a regular run of the mill city. It seems that people compare Sydney to Melbourne here in Oz land listing both good and bad for both, but I have the feeling that Sydney will provide more of a "wow" factor than Melbourne did for me.

Some of the people Erin goes to school have raised the "loser" bar just a little bit higher than I thought possible. Erin is in a study group where they take turns basically doing each others homework... Well members of this exclusive group have confronted other members of the quality of their work. Let me think here... If you don't like their work why don't you do your own. This little group has gone so far over the top that a constitution has been written. I repeat the bar is just a little higher than it was before.

THINGS I LIKE THIS WEEK

• getting close to being able to get my student card so I can get a discount on public transportation.
• that the Bombers are 2-1

THINGS I DO NOT LIKE THIS WEEK

• the beginning of the end of Andre Aggasi's career
• public transportation
• the small hot water tank in our flat that provides memories of having cold showers at Sisler high school where they had no hot water tank.

Perfect

I came across a person who clearly thought they were perfect today. After the encounter in question I thought to myself how difficult it must be to be perfect. I mean having everything you do and say meet a certain standard that is almost unattainable by other people. Not only this, but than you have to ensure that everyone else does things YOUR way, so that the perfectionist can be satisfied with how things are done. I can't imagine just how stressul life must be...

I'm sure that there are times in my life that I too thought I was perfect, but I think I've become more passive, a better listener and just a little more care free that I don't try and be perfect any more... if I am trying to be perfect... please call me on it.

Draft

I have decided that if there was a Draft where you would have to pick a team that would well.... Just be your team I think I may take a soccer player with my first pick. This team would not compete in any one event or just in sports... This team would be like your posse where you would go out at night together, play sports together, compete in Trivial Pursuit competitions all against other "teams".

There is so much that a world class soccer player could offer and I'm not only talking about their athletic ability. Frequently they will speak more than one language, have sponsors, to known around the world, be good at acting. The only draw back would be that he would be a wimp and I'd be forced to use some of my late rounds picks on some thugs who would be able to protect the team.

Currently Davis Beckham is my number one pick... He may be getting older, but is still a good soccer player, good looking guy, rich, owns a lot of cool cars, came across as a cool guy in a documentary I watched last week, but what really put him over the top is that he can now speak Spanish since moving to Spain, so he must not be all that dumb. Plus who wouldn't want to have the corporate appeal that David Beckham possesses on your team?

I think if you know my parents and get a chance you should watch the movie La Moustache, its about a guy who has had a moustache forever (my dad) and decided to shave it off, but when he gets home his wife (my mom) didn't even notice. I have yet to see it, but I'm going to be on the look out for it.

THINGS I LIKE THIS WEEK

• Hasn't happened yet, but I'd love to see England beat Ecuador
• The prospect of getting mail from my parents this week
• school starting in the very near future

THINGS I DO NOT LIKE THIS WEEK

• How Australians are the biggest bunch of bandwagoners I have ever seen... Apparently they all love and have been watching soccer for years... They haven't.
• DiVinci Code... Book was good brain candy, but the movie did not match the hype.
• How the Blue Jays are such a good team, but whenever they get a chance to catch the Yankees and BoSoxs they loser to lesser teams like the Marlins and the Braves.

Sushi anyone

I don't think words can actually justify what I am about to tell you...
Some things should be deemed wrong and nothing else. encountered one of those things last night. Erin and I were heading off to dinner downtown last night when we passed a nice little Asian lady selling Sushi one the side of the road. I'm not talking about in some sort of street vendor, I am talking about a woman with a card table and a little cardboard say which said "Sushi only $2 reduced to clear." I'm pretty sure the only thing that this Sushi which was no being chilled would be my stomach when I would be suffering from serious foor poinsoning.

THINGS I LIKE THIS WEEK

• that I wasn't one of the people who bought this Sushi
• release of EA sports Head Coach
• World Cup... wish it happened more than every 4 years
• walked passes a high end steak house (just after seeing the lady with the sushi) and I saw one of the sexiest steaks I have ever seen and the fact that I believe Erin and I will be in attendance of this Steak House next Friday.

THINGS I DO NOT LIKE THIS WEEK

• That I am not currently running in the Manitoba Marathon... can't remember the last time i wasn't there
• That I believe I have a hernia
• That I will be missing game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finls

I have nothing to say, but I was just thinking about being a spy...

I'm sitting in a restaurant in Sicily when I lift my fork to dig into my fettuccine with scallops, but I see the reflection of the Russian assassin in my fork so I roll off my chair onto the ground, grab my pistol and terminate him all in one fluid motion.

Upon realizing that I've made a scene I go to y table, take one large mouthful of pasta into my mouth, throw some money onto the table and than walk casually out the door as if nothing ever happened. The only thing I would be thinking would be how I wish I didn't have to wear these European designer glasses as part of my disguise because all spies wear fake glasses.

Anyways, I'm going to bed.

Wishful thinking

Spain 2- Ukranians 1
Tunisia 1- Saudi Arabia 1
Germant 2- Poland 1

I'm just hoping someone scores some goals.

Worl Cup

Well I've been making fun of the YAHOO's making predictions for the World Cup, so I'll put my two cents out there...
USA 2 Czeh 1
Italy 1 Ghana 0

I'm not sure what I want to do.. do I cheer for the Soccerroos and jump on the bandwagon, which means I have to continue listening to the morons in the media talk about them like they're gods and not really ever hear them talk about any of the other legitimate teams or do cheer against them like I want to deep down inside me...

Please feel free to make your predictions

Port Adelaide

Well I've been having a small case of cabin fever, so I decided that I would take the train out to Port Adelaide for the day. Port Adelaide is the name of one of the professional "footy" teams here in Adelaide, it has a tourist center and it has a port, so I figured it must be somewhat interesting... heck it was even in the South Australian Tour Guide Book the Erin bought.

Well my trip began with getting my sorry ass out of bed and catching the train to downtown Adelaide (30 minutes). Once I arrived downtown I decided I would miss the first train and go grab a cup of coffee. I always get out of the train station and head to the same coffee shop religiously, its all part of my autistic tendencies. So headed down the street I "thought" the coffee shop was on, I walked up and down looking for the same damn coffee shop I always go to. Well folks the coffee shop is gone, either I forgot where it was or it disappeared... I'm going to go with it disappeared. Anyways, I headed back to the train station and made my way to my final destination Port Adelaide.

I got off the train and looked around... the Port Adelaide "footy" team has a reputation of having roughian fans and I saw why! Port Adelaide looked like a Ghetto. I figured out which way the ocean was and headed to the port. I walked around and around... I think there are more empty buildings in Port Adelaide than there are ones with actual companies in the, however, there was a Pizza Hut. According to the Visitor Center you can take a boat ride and follow the dolphin path... I couldn't imagine anything living in the water that happened to be in the port, maybe a Cat Fish at best. Either way these "supposed" dolphin cruises only ran on Sundays and today happened to be Tuesday.

As continued to walk around I realized that me going to Port Adelaide was the equivalent of someone visiting Winnipeg and taking a day trip to Transcona. The only difference is that the girls are skankier in Transcona and instead of driving over a bridge that goes over a bunch of trains as you do in Transcona, you take a bridge over a bunch of boats in Port Adelaide. I think the most exciting thing I saw in Port Adelaide was the Filipino Bakehaus (that is how you spell it). I was going to go inside the bakehaus and tell the owner that I used to work with a bunch of Filipinos back home and that there is a good chance that they are related, however, upon entering the bakehaus there was a white go working there... I assumed he was not Filipino.

When it was time to leave Port Adelaide I went back to the train station and got there about 2:45 and the next train was supposed to come at 3:04. Well 3:04 came and went with no train, which was strange, but no big deal because the next one was at 3:30. Well 3:30 came and went with no train... hmmmmm. O.k. I decided that I would wait for one more train because Murphy's Law.. I assumed if I got up to go catch a bus the train would arrive minutes later, so the next train was scheduled for 3:54 and yes you guessed it... 3:54 came and went and there was no train. I waddled down to the bus station and took the very long bus ride back to Adelaide. I case you didn't guess... I will not be going back to Port Adelaide any time soon.

Things I like This Week

• $10 9 hole golf course just by where we live and I think I'm going to try it out.
• Bacon on a cheeseburger

Thing I do NOT like this week

• Grimley the relief pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks who quit after the FBI raided his house because he is guilty of steroid use... buddy you made your bed... sleep in it.

The List of things not to do

Lets pretend for a second... Suppose there is a giant list of "things you shouldn't do" We have obviously all checked off a number of things off this list, some people more than others (Neil Conti getting intimate with a dog comes to mind, but I digress).

I have a confession to make! If there was this supposed "list" I'm sure somewhere near the top of the list in between Do not eat the Buddha surprise at an all you can eat restaurant (I've checked that one off my list in Edmonton on a family trip) and go up to a guy at a bar and grab his crotch, but reassure him that it is o.k. because you are gay (I've seen this happen... a guy grabbed Ryan Mc. and told him that.. hilarious!! Anyways, I'm getting off topic, in between these two fine moments it has to say Do not go to a raw oyster and beer tasting while your stomach doesn't feel well. Guess whos stomach has been doing flips for the past three hours and is about to drink 10 beers and eat raw oysters like a fat kids eats a McDonalds.

I'm certain we all know how this story ends!! However,I promise I will update you on the repercussions tomorrow!

I hate Big Brother... REALLY

I've decided that I'm going to take one of me Pet Peeves out for a walk, so if you care to join us feel free.

I hate Big Brother! I even looked in a Thesaurus to find a more appropriate word, but I was unable. Fortunately for me it is on almost every time I turn on the T.V.. I'll be honest I've never really been a T.V. watcher, however, since arriving in Australia it has increased dramatically. I believe this has something to do with the fact that I don't know anyone and Erin has to study on occasion (although I've caught her laying solitaire on her laptop a number of times, but I digress), so this leaves me with four options 1) read which I have been frequently, but you can only read so much 2) play Sony Play Station, but again you can exhaust that option quite quickly 3) go for a run, but I usually go before dark, which happens to be at 5:30 here and finally 4) watch t.v.

Here is the wonderful world of Adelaide there are only 4 channels available on farmer vision and one of them is devoted to showing the locals what snow looks like 90% of the time. The other three channels offer the usual programming you get in Canada, however, we are (Australia) 6 months behind. Channel ten has decided that it has nothing better than Big Brother to offer its customers, so they have managed to arrange 20 hours a week of programming. I actually just counted it in the T.V. guide. Some of the different options for the faithful Big Brother viewer are Big Brother, Big Brother Up Late, Big Brother: Friday night live, Big Brother: Live Eviction (this is the important one because the sooner they evict the sooner it will be off the tube), Big Brother: Live Nomination and for the naughty viewer there is Big Brother: Adults Only (yes I know you just thought back to that first time you were in an adults only store and no you aren't a rebel for doing it... we all have).

It is evident that there are a lot of different options for the faithful Big Brother viewer and I'm sure there are the "hardcore" fans who manage to watch all of them, which is the beauty of the VCR or DVD recorder, which allows us "hardcores" to watch these events unfold. But for goodness sake... what about us folk who don't enjoy Big Brother? Sure we could turn to another channel, but thats not the point! No one television program should take up (give me one second to do the math) 12% of all the programming unless it is the news (which happens to take up about 10% of the programming). I'm sure that if it weren't for Aussie Rules Football you would add another 5 or 6 hours of Big Brother. Not only the programming, but you charge me $2.50 every time I text message my eviction vote in... I'm going broke, so please stop the craziness.
Well thank you for taking a walk with me and my pet peeve... I hope you enjoyed it!

THINGS I LIKE THIS WEEK
The Oyster and beer tasting that I will be partaking in

THINGS I DO NOT LIKE THIS WEEK
missing the first Bomber game...sighhh.....

Father like son

I had a craving today for chicken wings and thats when it dawned on me! I have yet to see a place that serves chicken wings... the same food that is an essential stapple at alomst all pubs in Canada is not served here. Today it is Tuesday here, which is the same day the Smitty's has $0.30 wings... sighhhhh!

I was at a Aussie Rules game on Saturday with a fellow named Sebastian who is from Calgary. Well neither one of us had tickets and when we got to the stadium it was evident that the game was sold out. We decided that our best course of action was to wait around where people picked up tickets in hopes that we could stumble upon a couple. Our first pleasant surprise is when some guy left the stadium and gave us a pass to get back into the stadium, which would get one of us in, but no seat. Than only a few minutes later a guy walked up to us and asked if we were watingfor tickets, which obviously we were, so he gave us a childrens ticket that we were able t upgrade to an adult ticket. For the record kids tickets, which are 0 to 16 years of age only cost $2.75... talk about a good way to spend a Saturday afternoon with your family. As it turned out the childrens ticket was left over because a 12-year-old girl missed a birthday party. I was her replacement and let me tell you how loud it is sitting with a dozen 12-year-old girls yelling "MEXICAN WAVE MEXICAN WAVE!!!" every few minutes.

The girls yelling were the least of my problems. It was the guy sitting behind me with his two kids. The guy had an ongoing commentary for the game as if his two kids and I were unable to see the field which happens to be larger than a soccer field. It wasn't just the commentary that was annoyig it was the fact that it was always negative. Even when the home team scored they could have kicked it further, if they made a tackle the tackle could have been harder.

There was a arger dilema at hand though... the father in question was not only annoying the hell out of me, buth e was breeding his two kids to do the same thing. Sure on this fine afternoon the kids were too engrossed in their fairy floss (aka candy floss) to care what the father was saying, but in a few years the three of them will be sitting in the same seats, but rather than eating fairy floss and enjoying the game all three of them will be mumbling to themselves how crappy the play is on the field and if they were out there they would do things differently. Guys take it from me... there is a reason that we are sitting in the comfortable confines of the stands while the players are out trying their best on the field and it isn't because we could do a better job than the.

Resumes

I have to pose a question... am I the only person who thinks a resume is the dumbest thing ever??

Yes I'm sure it could be used to initially sort through the first batch of applicants... i.e. this guy/girl does not know how to spell, wow he only made it up to grade 7, oh his resume only filled up half a page and it was written in pencil... great.

Other than sorting through the first wave of people what else could it possibly tell you? I mean first off can you not write pretty much whatever you want? Obviously there is a chance that you could get caught lying, but so what?? There is a better chance that you could tell the truth and not get hired, either way you end up with the same result of not getting the job. On the flip side, if you do get the job because you lied and you don't get caught ho harm ho foul. Although I am going to add a disclaimer... if you lie try and make sure you can pull off the lie. For example if you are applying for a serving job and say that you have 5 years experience working at some restaurant, but are unable to carry a tray of dishes... this may be hard to pull off.

I am in the process of looking for some dead beat job here in Australia and if I walked up to some manager and gave them my resume what is Manitoba Hydro, Future Shop and Sports Traders really going to mean to them? Are they going to call these places? Most likely not! Might they ask for a letter of reference?? Maybe, so what do I do scurry home and type out a glowing letter of reference for myself or do I go through the trouble of trying to get a hold of my former employers? I think we both know the answer to that question.

What appears to be the last problem I could possibly face is that the jobs I have previously had are boring! There is nothing exciting about these jobs that could interest an employer that could possibly make them think of later on when deciding whom to hire. Yes I could try and ride things out on my vibrant personality, but that is so much work when I could just put down adult entertainment. I will make a wager that if the coversation went something like...
Boss: ummmm... Danny it says here that you used to be an adult performer. May I or should I ask what exactly that is?
Danny: Well Boss I used to be a stripper for a few local clubs back home.
Boss: HAHAHAHAH!!!! You used to be a stripped? I bet you got...

You know what road that conversation is going down and I don't need to lead you there. I don't want to incriminate myself, but is honesty really the best policy? George O'Leary could provide an argument that says one should not lie on a resume, but I'm not applying to coach the Notre Dame Football team like the infamous former coach did. I am just looking for some part time gig that will pay me as much money as possible with as little work possible. I thought I had finished my resume a few years ago, but I think after some thought that I may need to make a few adjustments! Can someone pass me the white out??

I have a confession to make… I depend on “networking” way too much! Many people may consider being well “networked” a good thing, but I’ve come to terms with the harsh reality it is NOT. Ever since I was about 15 or 16 I’ve depended on networking to help me get things whether it is a job, a spot on a sport team, into a different social network etc… I don’t believe I did it consciously, but I believe how I have networked myself has certainly shaped how my life had panned out so far.

I came to this realization just recently and only because moving to a new country has exposed my dependency on networking because I now have no network to fall back on. Now that I am out looking for some dead end job here in Adelaide I have no network to go to and ask for recommendations as to where I should work. TO be honest back in Canada I’ve been out of the job hunt for awhile and the one or two times I went to pick something up for a short period of time I tapped into my network to get that job.

I guess it is true that certain situations in your life will make you learn about yourself, usually the stuff that you would never think of otherwise and well… moving to Australia has not made me learn much about myself, but it has exposed my dependency on networking. I will have to use my spinster skills and convince myself that this is a good thing and having to find a job on my own is a good thing, but it also leads me to believe I better pick up on creating a new network.. TO THE PUB!!

THINGS I LIKE THIS WEEK

• I love Sports Illustrated and the 10 issues I got in the mail last week. Reading that magazine is my cocaine

THINGS I DO NOT LIKE THIS WEEK

• Australian tax file number and the fact that I don't have one yet... this may cause employment problems for Danny

And Dennis was his Name-O

After finally finishing my Athabasca course I decided it was time to venture out and get my first haircut. I was going to go through an extensive search to find the best place to get a haircut, so I walked into the first place that was full of old saucy ladies getting perms and made an appoint. I figured because it had a sign outside on the sidewalk that said "Men's Haircuts Now Available" that it must be good. Well I sat down the guy asked how I wanted it cut I responded "short" than he pulled out the clippers and went at it. He did not offer a coffee, did not tell me his name, nor did he want any other details about how I wanted my hair. While "clipping away" he managed to cut my ear and I'm not talking a little paper cut, but actual blood. Anyways, 15 minutes later my haircut was done and I looked like Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber. After all was said and done I paid $25 to cut my ear, bad haircut (and I mean seriously theres not much to giving Danny a status quo like haircut), no talking and no coffee. I did however receive a cut out piece of paper that had been photocopied, which after looking it over realized it was his business card. At first I thought it was a coupon to make up for cutting my ear. Is it just me or is the second round of the NHL play-offs been very disappointing?? I mean Buffalo up on Ottawa 3-0, Carolina 3-0 over New Jersey. At least Edmonton looks to be putting up a fight against San Jose. The NHL must be thrilled to see teams like Buffalo and Carolina making a run for the Stanley Cup. I mean people care about as much for those teams as people do for how my Australian haircut went. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that one team... I'm not going to reveal who is going to comeback from 3-0 down. Excuse me for one second I just sneezed and got gunk all over my hand and the keyboard.

After getting gunk on my hand I decided to just save my entry... please dismiss the hockey bit... there will be no comeback.

Friday night Erin and I attended the med ball, which is essentially dinner, dancing and free booze. Anyways I met this guy named Ben, super nice guy and he kept talking about this Dennis... Dennis this Dennis that. I finally asked him if Dennis was short with a shaved heard, which he replied yes. I than said "you mean closet peeer" and he burst out laughing. Apparently closet peeers real name is Dennis and he is famous.

University of Athabasca... if you happen to read this please take note! It should not take a week to enter a final grade into your computer. People pay good money for your money grabbing correspondence courses... use that money and hire more staff.

Things I like this Week

• I'm hoping to receive my first "package" this week.
• I will get over my cold.

THINGS I DO NOT LIKE THIS WEEK

• That I'm not over my cold yet.
• Thieves! England sent their criminals to Canada way back when and the apple never falls far from the tree.
  

Closet Pee

Hello everyone,
I apologize its been so long between entries, but now that Erin and I have internet on the way that will soon change. Anyways I have a few things I'd like to get off my chest, so get comfortable and enjoy the ride.

I realized something the other day... there are some things that no matter where you are in the world, no matter what culture... it is NOT cool. Upon Erin arriving in Australia she attended a house party with her med school friends. At some point in the night on of her classmates decided that it would be a good time to pee in the closet (in case you are keeping track at home... this is the not cool thing). I'd like to clarify that there is never a good time to pee in the closet, but regardless Erin and Carmen (one of Erin's friends) decided to point out the closet peeer (not sure if thats a word). Most of the people are going to be in Australia for 4 years and this guy decided to pee in the closet in the first few weeks.... well this leads me to the point in my story... I wonder what its like to have everyone think of you as the closet peeer. Every time I see this guy the first thing I think of is that he went wee wee in the closet, which causes me to instinctively pretend I'm holding a hose near my crotch and go about pretending that I'm putting out a fire.

Moral of the story is... friends don't let friends pee in the closet at any time.

A guy in Erin's class ad I go running about three times a week... he's a nice guy, actually he's a nice guy/a**hole similar to me. Anyways this is a conversation we had the other day... (His name is Peter and he's from Melbourne) I'll set the sceen... its about 5 P.M. and there is a gorgeous sunset.
Peter: I reckon thats beautiful... golly just beautiful.
Danny: Yes its quite nice
Peter: do you'al have sunsets back in Canada?
Danny: ahhhhhhh yeah we have sunsets.
Peter: AH really I didn't know that. Do people fancy them like they do here?
Danny: Yeah they like them. It even looks similar to this sunset its just that ours would be over a fresh water lake rather than an Ocean.

Anyways, how did Peter think the sun went down in Canada? It just would sit there up in the sky and all of a sudden it turned dark outside? I know I've asked stupid question since I got here, but I pretty much assumed upon arriving in Australia that the earth turned at the same speed in Australia as it does in Canada.

THINGS I LIKE THIS WEEK

• love that Erin and I got tickets to Coldplay for June in Melbourne
• that the Moose won their first series against the Crunch (bad team name)

THINGS I DO NOT LIKE THIS WEEK

• Do not want to see Koby Bryant and the Lakers beat Steve Nash and the Suns
• How long it takes to get internet hooked up in Adelaide

Sometimes the stars will line up and bring tears to my eyes

This morning I woke up and decided to catch the early bus to school... not so I could get a good start on my homework, rather I wanted to see who had or hadn't qualified for the Stanley Cup Playoffs. The night before I was out with a number of people from Edmonton who had their fingers crossed that the Oilers would make the playoffs... I than at that very momment became a die hard Calgary Flames fan and would cheer them to victory.

Anways, as you may or may not know I have an extreme dislike for the Vancouver Canucks (what is a Canuck anyways??) and the Toronto Maple Leafs. Well folks when I opened up www.nhl.com to check out the latest standings I had the good fortune of sleeping easier for another year as I know I won't have to deal with any of these two terrible teams twisted fans (I am good friends with a few of them) telling me how great their playoff run to dominance was. The definition of a good year... the TOronto Maple Leafs and Vancouver Canucks don't win the Stanley Cup.

Now to look at the bigger picture and how this stroke of luck will help Winnipeg. If the Vancouver Canucks had made the playoffs they would have most certainly called up many of the better Manitoba Moose players for the playoffs, essential extinguishing any hope of the Moose making a heroic playoff run. Well the Moose will be fully stalked with all their best players and this may be the year that a Winnipeg Pro hockey team makes a championship run. The First TIme since the Winnipeg Victorias circa 1901. I would be regular member in attendance at these playoff games if I weren't so far away, but I strongly encourage everyone to attend as many games as possible as cheering does help!!

P.S.
The definition of a Canuck is "US slang for describing a French Canadian" even more reason not to cheer for the Vancouver Canucks

In case you missed the press conference

Hello,
In case you missed the press conference and I will assume you did seeing as though it took place in Adelaide, Australia... the Adelaide Falcons Sr. A Hockey Club has just signed its newest import player Dan Mitchell. Mitchell who just arrived fresh off the boat from Canada will be able to as the Falcon's coach said "immediately contribute to the depth of the Falcons defense."

As per team policy details of the contract were not disclosed. This is an interesting acquisition for the Falcon's as Mitchell has not played competitive hockey since his infamous 2001 season with the North Winnipeg Satellites.

A meet and greet has been scheduled with the press Thursday evening at the Seacliff Pub as Danny will be attending a drinking session with a number of med students who seem to be much too into themselves, however, Mitchell's "supposed" better half is making him go.

Written by,
Staff reporter

The pressure of the first entry

Hello,
I feel compelled to write something witty and funny that will reach out to you the reader and make you think "yes I believe I'll come back and check this blog." Well I don't have anything witty and funny to say, but now that I am just shy of 30 hours by plane away from my friends I thought it would be nice to have a place where I could post my rants about... well about anything I feel like writing about.

So I invite you to come back andcheck my blog as I hope to bring a few minutes of entertainment to your day!

Love ya,
Danny