Resumes

I have to pose a question... am I the only person who thinks a resume is the dumbest thing ever??

Yes I'm sure it could be used to initially sort through the first batch of applicants... i.e. this guy/girl does not know how to spell, wow he only made it up to grade 7, oh his resume only filled up half a page and it was written in pencil... great.

Other than sorting through the first wave of people what else could it possibly tell you? I mean first off can you not write pretty much whatever you want? Obviously there is a chance that you could get caught lying, but so what?? There is a better chance that you could tell the truth and not get hired, either way you end up with the same result of not getting the job. On the flip side, if you do get the job because you lied and you don't get caught ho harm ho foul. Although I am going to add a disclaimer... if you lie try and make sure you can pull off the lie. For example if you are applying for a serving job and say that you have 5 years experience working at some restaurant, but are unable to carry a tray of dishes... this may be hard to pull off.

I am in the process of looking for some dead beat job here in Australia and if I walked up to some manager and gave them my resume what is Manitoba Hydro, Future Shop and Sports Traders really going to mean to them? Are they going to call these places? Most likely not! Might they ask for a letter of reference?? Maybe, so what do I do scurry home and type out a glowing letter of reference for myself or do I go through the trouble of trying to get a hold of my former employers? I think we both know the answer to that question.

What appears to be the last problem I could possibly face is that the jobs I have previously had are boring! There is nothing exciting about these jobs that could interest an employer that could possibly make them think of later on when deciding whom to hire. Yes I could try and ride things out on my vibrant personality, but that is so much work when I could just put down adult entertainment. I will make a wager that if the coversation went something like...
Boss: ummmm... Danny it says here that you used to be an adult performer. May I or should I ask what exactly that is?
Danny: Well Boss I used to be a stripper for a few local clubs back home.
Boss: HAHAHAHAH!!!! You used to be a stripped? I bet you got...

You know what road that conversation is going down and I don't need to lead you there. I don't want to incriminate myself, but is honesty really the best policy? George O'Leary could provide an argument that says one should not lie on a resume, but I'm not applying to coach the Notre Dame Football team like the infamous former coach did. I am just looking for some part time gig that will pay me as much money as possible with as little work possible. I thought I had finished my resume a few years ago, but I think after some thought that I may need to make a few adjustments! Can someone pass me the white out??